Archive for the ‘frienship’ Category

>I’m not a huge fan of the word “no”. I don’t like to hear it and even more importantly I don’t like to say it. Because of my aversion to using “the word” I tend to use everything but “no”: yes, maybe, we’ll see, who knows, there’s an idea or I just all together ignore the question, statement or cirsumstance. Recently someone asked if they could do something and they needed my approval. To not offend them and to avoid me having to say the tough thing, that they did not have the ability to do “this thing” I said “yes”. I didn’t want to say “no” because I felt that meant potential conflict. When I avoid saying “no” when it’s called for I make myself out to be a liar because I’m saying “yes”, but inside I’m screaming “no”. When I placate people by putting them off and avoiding them, I let the issue become a wedge in my relationships. We need to be asking ourselves the motivation behind this: Is it my own insecurity? Am I intimidated by the person? Am I afraid of conflict?

Bottom Line: You can say no. The island will not blow up. Life moves on as will your relationships.

Say it with me……..No,

Nathan

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>I think it’s fitting that I return to the blogosphere on Memorial Day. I put my writing on hold last week after I lost a dear friend last week. He had battled a health condition for over a decade. His name was Reid and he was 24. He had a beautiful mind and a gentle spirit.

I am reminded from his loss how we never know how much time we have here on this celestial ball. I’d like you to ponder some questions I’ve been asking myself:

Am I making time for people that I “say” I value?

Do you call many people friends but have little depth in your friendships? We make time for what is important. If people in your life are important….make time.

What does my qaulity time look like with them?

Make sure you getting past surface conversation and on to things that matter. When they’re gone we won’t care that we talked about the weather.

Is there anything I need to say or do before one of us is gone?

Ask forgiveness and forgive where it’s needed. Communicate to them how they’ve impacted your life. What have you always wanted to say or do? No more excuses…do it.

Remember,

Nathan

>Know those people that say they have more than one best friend? How is that possible? Doesn’t “best” mean “the top” or stands alone? Anyway, in thinking about friendship last night I was thinking about how grateful I am for true accountability. I’m not talking about the people I can seem to have fun with and just really enjoy their company. I mean friendship that runs deeper. Actual Accountability. A relationship where I give them permission to ask the tough questions about my life. When they know they can call me out on something and they give me permission to do the same. It’s really Proverbs 27:17 in action: “Iron Sharpens Iron. So one man sharpens another.” Relationships that don’t have this type of intimacy aren’t wrong. We just need to know that we will not have any type of accountability in a relationship like that. What about you? Do you have someone in your life that holds you accountable on a regular basis or do you always keep people at a distance?

Get to Sharpening,

Nathan